Losing Control

For me, there’s something terrifying about the thought of losing control. We call these folks control freaks, and I’m one of them. I’ve learned to let go of the little things that I can’t control that don’t really matter. Actually, I’ve fought to let go of those things. But there are other things that shake me to the core when I realize how out of my control they are — the future of my children, my beloved spouse, and most recently, my health.

Watching my wold wobble and tilt out of my control has been quite an object lesson for me. I note that not once did I actually fall as my world rocked like a ship. Not once. Ringing true in my shifting world this past month are the words of Hebrews 10:23 “Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.” He who promised is faithful. And “to him who is able to keep you from falling” while speaking symbolically, was literally true for me this past month  (Jude 1:24). Even as I chased runaway children, I did not fall down. I saw that even though I felt like the world was totally out of my control, but my God was never unable to control my world, even as I spun. Because he who promised is faithful. There are many difficult realities that remain outside of my control. For me, most of them center on those I love most (two of them pictured below) and what the future holds for them.

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But today as I was worshiping, praying for those I love, I heard God’s gentle reminder:

It is good to relinquish those you love to me, because I can do far more with them than you can ever do through all your efforts. It is good to relinquish yourself to me because I can do far more with you than you can ever do with yourself.

Simply put, I thought someone else might need to hear this reminder today. I know I’m not the only control freak out there anxiously trying to do as much as I possibly can to lead my children to Christ. And that’s not World in His Handswrong of me to do, but, God can do far more with my children if I open my hands and give them to him. It’s not wrong for me to do my best with my talents and abilities, but God will do far more with me if I just give myself to him. Even when my world is literally spinning out of my control, it is never outside of his control. There’s freedom in letting go, losing control, to give it to the One who ultimately controls it all in his goodness.

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